My aunt is a member of the YMCA in San Francisco. A few months ago, a man entered the locker room as she was getting dressed. When she shared her concerns, the staff was condescending and dismissive. The YMCA lectured my aunt on “inclusivity”, but denying women the right to privacy from men is the opposite of inclusive. The reason for the creation of female spaces such as these was to include women in places and activities from which we have historically been excluded. As Sheila Jeffrey said, all space becomes male space unless females maintain a concerted effort to mark a space for themselves. Allowing males unfettered access to female spaces, denying women the right to any boundaries, is regressive and sexist. In her letter to the YMCA (copied below), my aunt wrote: “I put on some clothes in the open area of the showers (with no privacy screens) and went out to complain to the front desk, burst into tears, unexpectedly, shaking; I felt violated, nobody cared.” This is not “inclusion”.
This incident happened in late January but I heard about it a few days ago because I met my aunt for Sizdah Beh Dar at the Presidio Tunnel Tops. She was coming from her yoga class at the Presidio YMCA a few steps away. Since it was cold, we picnicked in the covered area (next to the restrooms and the restaurant Il Parco). The Tunnel Tops park is gorgeous and the covered space offers a way to take advantage of the views when it’s cooler or windy. I love biking and working outdoors, so I used to spend a lot of time in that area. I still go there fairly often, but since they replaced the single-sex restrooms with mixed-sex ones a few years ago, my visits are shorter.
Gender ideology activists act dumb, but they know that most women don’t want naked men in their changing rooms, so the YMCA dupes their female patrons by not putting up signs informing them that their locker room is mixed-sex. Gender ideology activists act dumb, but they know that there is a difference between single-sex and mixed-sex bathrooms, and so unlike every other multi-stall restroom in the Presidio (which are single-sex), the stalls at the Tunnel Tops restroom have no gap between door and frame. It’s not enough of course, and there are often women and adults with children in line looking uncomfortable or confused. Gap or no gap, not many women want to wash period blood off their hands while random men use the sinks next to them. Feminists fought for women to have the right and the opportunity to participate in sports and public life. Places like the YMCA and the Presidio can help people live healthier and happier lives, but these places are becoming, once again, less accessible to women as the new misogyny takes over.
Last month, a naked man harassed a petite 82 year old woman in the Berkeley YMCA locker room after the woman asked him to cover his genitals. A YMCA employee referred to the woman as “uneducated”. It is the staff at the YMCA that is uneducated on what it is to be female in the world, and why female locker rooms exist to begin with. Rather than lecturing women who feel violated as a consequence of YMCA policies, the folks at the YMCA should listen to these women and “educate” themselves.
My aunt’s letter to the YMCA:
February 7, 2025
Chris –
I was at the YMCA Presidio last Friday morning, Jan 31, 2025; had a good workout, felt energetic, and looked forward to a cup of coffee with the walkers. Took sauna and a shower, and while putting on my intimates, this big guy walks in and takes a locker near mine. I couldn’t move, mostly because of the shock and also because of the proximity. I asked him, in disbelief, what he was doing in the women’s locker room [what are you doing here?] and he says “if you are asking me if I am allowed, yes I am.” Frankly, when I was coming out of the sauna, I had heard a man’s voice, and a bit of his back, a man accompanied by a woman, and I thought something must be wrong with one of the locks and here is a handyman accompanied by a staff member to break the lock. The thought had also crossed my mind that no announcements were made that a man was entering the area. Subsequently, coming out of the shower, while dressing, a man walks in on me….
I put on some clothes in the open area of the showers (with no privacy screens) and went out to complain to the front desk, burst into tears, unexpectedly, shaking; I felt violated, nobody cared. I have never been in a domestic violence situation but at that moment I felt the pain a woman must feel when violated – tears, shaking, loud, in disbelief begging to be heard. I could tell from the ‘surprise’ look on the front desk staff member that he too was shocked. Then I reported the man’s presence to a blond woman, who called in the manager (Stacey? Tracy?). The manager said that it was the Y’s policy to be Inclusive of all its members. The look on her face was patronizing, dropped voice, like lecturing me about something religious, apparently trying to calm me. I told her that “but there are no signs” and that they couldn’t just allow it haphazardly, and that Trump had just put a stop to all that stuff……she says something like “I will put a sign”, “do you want me to put a sign”, “I will.” And I thought that this woman is clueless; what kind of question is this? Is it for real? Doesn’t she know that there should be a sign? She is asking me? definitely a poor execution of Y’s policies. And I am thinking that here is this idealist putting a man in an 8×15 area and she is now trying to calm me and to show me the light! What about my rights, my civil rights, don’t I matter? At that point, I truly understood the anger and hurt that people felt and voted against the Democrats. They didn’t matter…and I got it, with my own personal experience.
I finished dressing in the bathroom in the reception area and left.
YMCA’s Inclusivity and gender-conscience policies allowing biological men into Women’s locker room is, in my opinion, reverse discrimination. If the Y wants to be so fashionable and include those with transgender identities in single-sex bathrooms/locker rooms, they should offer accommodations for those with male bodies who identify as women, and they should not do so at the expense of women’s rights to safety, privacy, and dignity. Lawsuits have been filed against gyms that have allowed men into women’s locker rooms, e.g., Planet Fitness, Crunch Fitness – locker rooms are private spaces – there is potentially criminal and civil liability for the Y.
Given that many acclaimed institutions such as the Smithsonian Institution are abandoning and/or evaluating their DEI policies, mostly as the result of lawsuits, and privately settling, I respectfully ask the YMCA of Greater San Francisco to reevaluate its gender-conscience policies to permit biological men to use locker rooms designated specifically for women.
Yours truly,
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